18 Replies
Yes it’s a form of true emotional cheating as this is what really happened to my spouse & his “so-called” best female friend (already Married) who turned out having sexual affairs for the past 8 years starting from pure heart-to-heart conversations (DAILY from 7am till 4am ). Initially they started off complaining about each other’s spouse then slowly developed into strong emotions & feelings for each other. Then ended up, my spouse & her started ‘going out late’ until 4am DAILY and I even found her intimate items in my spouse’s car & house!!! This female friend was also someone whom I knew for more than a decade and she even had A HUSBAND even till now while my husband is her affair partner who provided her with all luxury goods, delivery food orders and secret business partners in cahoots. P.S: Her husband’s rich & loves her a lot. But she’s not satisfied as she complained her spouse isn’t romantic & sweet enough to her. Still, this doesn’t give her any reason or excuse to steal another man, somemore a married man with a wife & children!!! All along for the past decades, I always had 101% full trust in my spouse but he betrayed my trust by lying to me constantly that this female friend was his true soulmate and BFF in life and he simply cldnt believe there’s an existing truth to a Platonic relationship between a woman & a man.
I think there is no right or wrong. In the end, it is the understanding and communication between you and your husband. Asking yourself if the shoes were switched. How would you feel? Good friends are hard to come by, but if it bothers your husband, then ask yourself what is more important? And if making your husband feel secure is important to you, then you can make simple habitual changes to ease your husband’s mind and heart. Other females probably have a friend who they are this close to as well, just that this friend is also female. So it is acceptable. Sadly, Asian culture and society builds up stereotypes on acceptable relationships. So I understand there is no easy solution. Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. So don’t focus on “if what you are doing is right or wrong”, or “is your husband’s thinking right or wrong”. There is no right or wrong. Instead, focus on why your husband is feeling this way and what you can do to change it. This will result in a more sustainable relationship. Good luck.
My motto for opposite sex relationships is: 1. if my spouse doesn't like it, I will not do it. (for example go meet the person) 2. if I need to hide the person or meetups or chats (maybe even one message) from spouse, then I need to start drawing boundaries. 3. if I start wondering if he will be mistaken (no matter how little), I need to draw boundaries. 4. if other people has mentioned or joked about how close we are or wondered if we were a couple before, I need to draw boundaries.
this is a form of cheating. eventually will lead to something intimate when both you and your friend start to share personal things with each other rather than to your own spouse. there's something wrong already. you should be sharing things with your spouse like your best friend. he should be like your best friend too. please start to draw some line with your friend. I'm sure you don't like it when your husband does that to you right?
Your relationship with your best friend is weird. Why would you prioritize something like chatting with your best friend, over your spouse? Isn’t your spouse supposed to be the most important person to u? Try putting yourself in his shoes, how will you feel if he has a female friend (best friends or not) and he prioritize chatting with her over you?
it does sound quite odd to me. having a male friend is one thing. having a male friend who you're constantly chatting with is another. I'm surprised your friend doesn't see that as a problem either. i mean, the fact that you're married and he needs to respect that too. Sorry, maybe it's just me but I think your husband is right.
Best friends must have boundaries too, its definitely not appropriate to prioritise your best friend over your spouse. U must be glad your husband feels odd, some husband after marriage/giving birth they dont bother at all. Draw the line, since your husband is affect think about who you care most, thats important.
Why do you think that your husband should feel ok about this? Draw a line and it’s called respecting our spouse. If the two of you are SO good that you have to msg one another the first and last thing in a day, why didnt u two get married in the first place and save your husband some trouble.
Not right for me, especially when youre married. What if its the other way round and its your husb chatting with opp sex? Im sure you wont be ok with it. And it’s valid for him to feel this way cause he’s your spouse, he have the right to feel that way.
bff since forever but you are also married now, so must practise boundaries la mommy, else lines get blurry fast. if your best friend is married, his wife too would be concerned if he is texting you all day long instead of talking to his wife
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