5th pregnancy

It's my 5th pregnancy and I feel overwhelmed. My 4th child just turned 3yo. My eldest is 13yo, my 2nd is almost 8yo and the 3rd is 5yo. Managing a teenager, 2 school kid and a toddler is really challenging. Knowing I'm pregnant again makes me feel anxious. 1. What if my body can't handle it anymore? I'm 36. 2. What if the baby will no longer be healthy? 3. What would my eldest feel abt having another sibling? My parents and in laws too? 4. Should I blame my husband? Or is it my fault that I don't really reject him anytime? 5. Until what age should we keep working to sustain our families needs? Please, don't judge. I can't celebrate my pregnancy because I feel ashamed. Help me cope and be more positive. Thanks, mommas!