Separation Anxiety of Toddler

Question

4 months yung baby ko when I had to stop breastfeeding due to medication for gallbladder. It may harm his brain so I was told I had to stop bf. 6 months sya when I started working again. Some people says my child may have separation anxiety because pahirapan ang pagpasok ko sa work, kahit naliligo ako, kailangan nakikita nya ko so he wont cry. Kumakain ako, nagttoothbrush, naghhugas ng pinggan, karga ko sya kasi nagwawala sya talaga if not, then kahit 6 months lang sya kakausapin ko sya ng masisinsinan na I had to work anak, wait mo lang si mommy then well play. Pag-uwi ko nagpplay talaga kami, magluluto lang ako saglit na again karga sya (pero pag prito, yung byenan ko ang taya hehe), we also dance ng anak ko para makabawi. So kahit taon na kong nagttrabaho, basta nasa paningin nya na ko he doesnt want to be held by anyone but me. Some says hes suplado kasi ayaw nya magpaakap o karga sa iba, so magppoop ako sa cr kasama sya, hugas pinggan karga sya, iihi, maliligo na bukas anh pinto at nakaupo sya nkatingin sakin. As he grow older and Im still working, ganon pa rin, now that hes a toddler, sabay kami naliligo pag wala akong pasok 😂 Si mama ko na ang kasama ko sa bahay, so after ko manggalinh sa work sya na lagi sa gawaing bahay (she insisted) basta ako bahala sa anak ko. Maybe thats why kahit nagwwork ako, di lumayo loob nya sakin, ako lang gusto nya hehehhee. Until now that hes 3, naghuhugas ako ng pinggan (if wala ang mama) nakatayo sa tabi ko, hell wait until were able to play. Sometimes its exhausting because I want to rest or just scroll thru my phone pero he will feel sad e. When Im mad naman, he will tap my shoulder and will calmy say mommy, mommy its okay, its okay. Are you okay? Are you happy?  Sweet diba?

Isolde Quirante · Answer

Aw, your little one sounds so sweet and emotionally aware na, honestly na-touch ako reading that part about him comforting you! What you're describing isn't really separation anxiety in the clinical sense, it's more like he's formed a really secure attachment to you (which is beautiful, by the way), and yes, he may struggle when you're not around, but that's normal for toddlers, especially kapag the primary caregiver is always hands-on like you. A few of us sa mommy group namin went through similar situations, and what helped was gradually building his confidence with other trusted people, not forcing it, but like letting him see you're coming back, consistent routines, and maybe small "practice" separations that are positive experiences (like playing with lola while you're within earshot pero hindi nakikita). The exhaustion you're feeling is real and valid, pero the good news is as he grows, he'll naturally become more independent, especially once he starts preschool or meets friends his age, that peer interaction changes everything! For now, maybe give yourself grace na hindi perfect ang setup, kasi what you're doing, staying present, playing with him, showing him he matters, that's literally the foundation na kailangan niya, and the clinginess usually fades on its own.

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