Separation Anxiety of Toddler

Question

4 months yung baby ko when I had to stop breastfeeding due to medication for gallbladder. It may harm his brain so I was told I had to stop bf. 6 months sya when I started working again. Some people says my child may have separation anxiety because pahirapan ang pagpasok ko sa work, kahit naliligo ako, kailangan nakikita nya ko so he wont cry. Kumakain ako, nagttoothbrush, naghhugas ng pinggan, karga ko sya kasi nagwawala sya talaga if not, then kahit 6 months lang sya kakausapin ko sya ng masisinsinan na I had to work anak, wait mo lang si mommy then well play. Pag-uwi ko nagpplay talaga kami, magluluto lang ako saglit na again karga sya (pero pag prito, yung byenan ko ang taya hehe), we also dance ng anak ko para makabawi. So kahit taon na kong nagttrabaho, basta nasa paningin nya na ko he doesnt want to be held by anyone but me. Some says hes suplado kasi ayaw nya magpaakap o karga sa iba, so magppoop ako sa cr kasama sya, hugas pinggan karga sya, iihi, maliligo na bukas anh pinto at nakaupo sya nkatingin sakin. As he grow older and Im still working, ganon pa rin, now that hes a toddler, sabay kami naliligo pag wala akong pasok 😂 Si mama ko na ang kasama ko sa bahay, so after ko manggalinh sa work sya na lagi sa gawaing bahay (she insisted) basta ako bahala sa anak ko. Maybe thats why kahit nagwwork ako, di lumayo loob nya sakin, ako lang gusto nya hehehhee. Until now that hes 3, naghuhugas ako ng pinggan (if wala ang mama) nakatayo sa tabi ko, hell wait until were able to play. Sometimes its exhausting because I want to rest or just scroll thru my phone pero he will feel sad e. When Im mad naman, he will tap my shoulder and will calmy say mommy, mommy its okay, its okay. Are you okay? Are you happy?  Sweet diba?

Isolde Quirante · Answer

Hay, thats actually really sweet na ganyan siya with you, and honestly from what youre sharing, it sounds more like secure attachment than separation anxiety, he knows youre his safe person, kaya okay lang sya as long as he can see you! A few of us moms noticed na kapag nag-adjust kami ng expectations (like accepting na anak namin talaga wants to be near us rather than forcing independence too early), it actually made parenting less stressful, and eventually the kids naturally start exploring on their own pag ready na sila. The sweet thing about it is, hes learned that youll always come back and be there for him, which is honestly the foundation ng healthy kids, so those moments na hes standing next to you habang naglilinis or the mommy are you okay? moments, those are gold na, hindi burden. Around 3-4, maraming kids din naturally start preferring playmates or wanting to do their own thing, so I think yours will naturally transition pag ready na, walang pressure needed. For now, enjoy those years, they grow up so fast, and honestly, the separation anxiety thing that tao nag-comment? Often its just people projecting their own parenting style, not a real concern. Youre doing great, mama!