Birthclub: Oktubre 2022 icon

Birthclub: Oktubre 2022

27604 Người theo dõi

Hỏi & Đáp

Remembering my rainbow baby

I just want to share this kasi, I've been thinking about it lately, siguro dahil malapit na mag undas. I was pregnant for my supposed-to-be first born last October 2021. Confirmed yung pregnancy ko via TVS, may baby sac, may fetus, may heartbeat. She was 6 weeks by that time. But then, dun ako nakatira sa bahay ng kinakasama ko which is province - bundok to be exact. I have nothing sa mga nasa province, pero yung family ng ex-lip ko, super against sila sa science and doctors. Come November 2021, dinugo ako (not spotting), I told my ex-lip "punta tayong OB, ayoko mawala baby ko", his mother heard us and said "normal lang yang duguin ng patak patak, pahilot ka lang, wag ka na gumastos ng malaki". Hours after that incident, pagka cr ko, may lumabas na buong dugo sakin, nasalo ng panty ko. So I took a picture of it, put my underwear with the blood clot in a clear plastic, and went to my OB by myself kahit pa 2hours away ang pinakamalapit na OB sa lugar nila. And there, I confirmed, I had miscarriage. Siguro guilt feeling lang din to kasi, if I were brave enough to go alone earlier that time, baka nasave pa yung baby ko. Also, if I were brave enough to inform my ex-lip that her mother was really stressing me by saying, "wag mong gawin yan, eto gawin mo, etc...", maybe we were both happy and alive here at my parent's place. Very controlling ang mother ng ex-lip ko, especially nung nabuntis ako. I am allergic to crustaceans yet she insists that I eat them coz it's healthy daw samin, she knows I have skin dermatitis and can't eat sardines, yet she insists at "wag na daw ako mag inarte". If I were just brave enough, maybe I already have my rainbow baby with my sunshine baby here right now. It's just a mistake that I was not courageous enough to speak for my well-being, and for my baby's. It saddens me everytime I remember this unfortunate event. But I make sure to always speak up. Be your own voice, co-mommies! Ikaw lang ang magtatanggol sa sarili mo at sa mga anak mo, wag nyo na ko tularan na naduwag at natakot, after all, ikaw din naman magdadala ng pregnancy mo ❤️

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