16 Replies
I got a present for #1 and gave it to her when she first met #2 in hospital. I told her it was a gift from her little brother and that her brother like her so much that he got her a gift. She was really happy to meet #2. I got her to be involved in taking care of #2 and helping me. Eg: she will help me get the diaper when I needed to change #2. She will sing to #2 when he's crying, I get her to watch #2 for a while when I go out of the room etc. She felt good when we praised her for being such a wonderful sister and she didnt feel left out at all. When I'm breastfeeding #2, she will stay beside me and read her story book, after that she offered to burp her brother.(she's just lightly pat the brother's back). She's only 2 years old when her brother was born, but she really sensible at the age.
Have his cousins and other family come visit (which usually happens anyway after a baby is born) so the older child will not feel alone or left out when you're busy recovering or with the new baby. When my baby brother was born, I was lucky to not feel that way because I was raised by my grandparents along with other cousins. So whenever a new baby arrived, we all knew that we were getting a new playmate.
My friend tried as much as possible to spend alone time with the elder child (e.g., putting her child to bed) every day. She also reassures him that mummy loves him very much. Explaining to her elder one (every now and then) that he is now a big brother and got to help mummy look after his little sister also helped.
Over and above what's mentioned, this is also the time when daddy can spend special time with #1 - just daddy and #1. Go Swimming, playing, reading etc - outside the home ... So that there's no distraction. Daddy - pl also check your phone less often when you are with #1
1) ask them to help: hand the diaper during changing time, hold towel during bathtime, talk to the baby while mom is eating. 2) take their pic together, print out and make craft/scrapbooks. 3) give them a chance to buy presents for the baby (clothes/toys).
Our older daughter wished for a sibling, a little sister specifically, we granted her wish. So when we notice she think she's being neglected, we tell her that she's the one who asked for that little angel, and then she stop.
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Spend more time with the elder kid as well. Keep him involved in everything like helping the 2nd kid. And give him some responsibilities to make him feel he is part of the team
Please talk to your elder kids. They still a kid and did not understand like us. Do not totally ignore them. They need your attention only
We offered our eldest the chance to pick our LO's second name. She loved this and quickly became our LO's best guardian!