Is it jealousy or am I a meanie ~ or how to deal with helper who doesn’t listen..

Quick background - currently staying with husband’s grandma and helper (note: helper is under grandma’s and mainly taking care of her and doing housework and cook) while waiting for our BTO. My husband and I paid her additional since we moved in for washing our clothes, baby clothes and tidying our room, and cook (she cook dinner everyday for grandma so it’s just add in 2 more person’s meal) as we felt bad (since we are not her employer and she is doing extra chores for us). The helper is really nice and have initiatives, but sometimes I felt annoyed especially when it comes to my 3 month old LO. FTM here btw… I am the kind of hands on mom and prefer doing everything myself when it comes to LO. As I’m on ML, I’m the main caregiver. I didn’t let the helper help with feeding / changing diaper / shower (again we are not her employer). Will at times leave my LO in the rocker at living room so Grandma gets to watch over LO and bond with her great grand daughter. When LO stirred in her sleep in the rocker or make some minor noise, she would come rushing over and carry her. I would be in the toilet / pumping milk and not in time to stop her lol. LO is still sleeping and may be in light sleep so it’s normal for her to make noise. I always tell her to observe first and don’t immediately carry. She doesn’t seem to listen. It is really frustrating. Sometimes I let grandma carry LO to sayang and bond and helper would come and take over. Also, once I told her not to carry as LO is playing on her own and help me to just watch over in the room while I go for a quick shower. When I’m out of the shower, my LO is not in the room anymore. Apparently she carried out to living room and even fed her milk. I was very pissed as she didn’t inform. Another thing is once she was eating oranges and I needed help with LO, so I asked her if she could help to carry LO for a short while. She is definitely glad to do it but she wipe her hands on her pants and want to carry LO over. Immediately I told her to wash her hands first.. zzz It’s not first time already.. there was once she was cooking half way and I caught her using her hands to grab and touch my LO hands.. now my LO is at the age of sucking her thumb and fingers. How unhygienic! Again I reminded her to wash hands and refrain from touching LO hands as much as possible.. What to do to helper who doesn’t listen, lol..