My niece seems to “fight back” when her mother scolds her. She’s just 1y/o. How should we deal about it?

Nothing makes correcting a child more frustrating than to have him constantly “back talk” or offer a response or defense to everything you say. It’s doubly upsetting if those retorts are disrespectful! So how do you nip this back talk habit? Much of it relies on laying a foundation of respect. Next, move on to the nitty-gritty of targeting the talking back and taking it on! You don’t have to do it alone. We’re in it with you! And while you don’t want to engage in a lot of back-and-forth verbal volleyball with your child, sometimes the right response can calm the waters and defuse common kid tactics to distract from the real issues. A wise mom will measure her words carefully when responding to back talk so that parental authority doesn’t dissolve in a verbal tug of war. The last thing you want to do is engage in a lengthy back-and-forth with your child. This only encourages future arguments about rules and boundaries. But on those occasions when you think your child’s back talk deserves or needs a response, here are some wise words when your children talk back. Examples:- “That’s not fair!” Children like to believe that the only just way for them to be treated is exactly the same as their siblings or friends. But fair isn’t the same as equal or identical. Mom Response: “I will always try to treat you and your brothers and sisters fairly, but I won’t always treat you the same. That’s because you are each different, just like everyone in the world is different from each other.” “Everyone else gets to do it!” Kids like to pressure parents by comparing them to other parents. Mom Response: “Well, what other parents choose to do may not be right for us. In our family we believe _____________, so that’s how we’ll decide about this too.”

Here is a useful article on how to discipline your child (at various ages): http://sg.theasianparent.com/smart-ways-to-discipline-your-child-at-every-age/ For toddlers, the article suggested: - explaining to your child about what he/she has done wrong - giving time out - removing your child from the situation - withholding privileges (favourite toy, television time etc) for his/her misbehavior In general, I think it is important to explain and reason with your niece. While she may fight back, there must be a reason for the scolding. I would suggest first giving time-out to get your niece to reflect on what she has done wrong. Get her to explain to your sister what she thinks her misbehaviour was and correcting her if she got it wrong. This may reduce her "fighting back" behaviour.

I once read an article about disciplining toddlers. The lesson basically notes that discipline is never about punishment but guidance and positive reinforcement. You may apply this whenever you have difficulties in dealing with your niece (or even with your own child). For instance, if your niece is starting to form a habit of biting, shoving or throwing things (and food), instead of getting more frustrated to the point that you want to nag, divert her attention to something else. Also, instead of saying phrases such as "No" or "That's bad", "Don't do this and that", say positive phrases. This article might be of great help: http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tips/secrets-to-toddler-discipline

Hi Ruby, your niece is too young to understand that she is being scolded for a reason so it's only natural she will fight back. In fact, kids, no matter how young or old, have the tendency to argue back when scolded. A good idea would be to let her vent all her feelings. When things cool down, her mother can take a fresh approach to the issue and make her understand. She can also explain things to your niece by way of stories. Children find stories more engaging than anything else.

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thanks