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What you're going through sounds really exhausting, and it makes complete sense that you're feeling torn because carrying a clingy toddler while dealing with first trimester nausea is genuinely hard on the body. For the carrier question, it is worth checking with your gynae or midwife before the Japan trip, since every pregnancy is different and they can tell you whether your bump size and how you're feeling makes it safe to use. On the second baby worry, I think most mums hit that wall of doubt at some point, especially in the first trimester when everything feels heavy, and many find it does get more manageable once the pregnancy progresses and your toddler slowly adjusts to the new normal.

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