MIL smelling baby consistently and causing strained r/s with hubby

Question

My MIL is the caregiver for my first born and I keep noticing her smelling my baby every few seconds. Mind you, every few seconds. I previously told her not to kiss my baby but even though she didnt kiss her mouth is still touching my baby side of the head when she smell. I feel its quite disgusting to have someone to keep smelling you every few seconds and tried to tell my hubby about it. However he told me that he is having a strained relationship with his mother as he had told her not to do a few things, like to feed her only when she is hungry or every 3hours and not everytime when she cry to prevent overfeeding.  So he say this is a minor issue if I cant tahan I should tell her myself. In a way I understand but I cant help feeling alone and without support. Any advice on how I should tackle this issue?

Vô danh · Answer

It is a tough spot to be in, because on one hand your husband is already managing a strained relationship with his mum over feeding issues, and on the other hand your concern about hygiene and physical boundaries with baby is completely valid too. I think the real issue here is less about the smelling itself and more about feeling unsupported, so it might help to first have a calm conversation with your husband about that specifically, separate from the MIL topic, so he understands you are not asking him to go to war with his mum again but just need him to acknowledge your feelings. If you do decide to speak to MIL yourself, framing it gently around baby's sensitive skin or health rather than "it's disgusting" tends to land better and keeps things less personal. It is a balancing act lah, but sometimes going directly to MIL in a soft way actually works out better than going through the husband, especially when the husband is already stretched thin on that front.