Ff up question to post about husband watching porn

Question

Mga sis same situation here. Ive seen my husband from his history na he watches porn, not sure if even before i got preggy to our 1st child kasi nakita ko nalang nung umuwi sya (OFW) not sure kung even nung binata sya, mg bf/gf kami, newly married e nanunuod ba sya. Inopen up ko 3 yrs ago nung malaman ko at first ayaw umamin, he didnt even directly admit na nanunuod sya kesyo nag pop up lang daw etc. pero mga sis i was not born yesterday. Years passed by alam ko nanunuod pa din sya kasi nasa history nya, no confrontation kasi mgdedeny lang din sya at sawa nko. Up to this day i just gave birth to our 2nd child 3mos ago, kauuwi uli nya(OFW) few days ago nakita ko ulit sa fone nya. Given the hormones i had post partum, gusto ko ulit iopen up. Feeling ko im not enough etc. Were my feelings valid? Should i expect him na hindi nya na gagawin after i open up again? Dapat bang iimpose na wag sya manuod? Or is it normal talaga sa mga lalake? Btw, we have a healthy sexlife even before, even while i was pregnant pa nga. Di lang ako ung maexplore, sya mas nagiinitiate. Ngayon parang wala ako amore makipag love making lalo i still have slight spotting. Please help no bashing please for the sake of my mental health. Thank you#pleasehelp #respect_post #advicepls

Isolde Quirante · Answer

Sis, your feelings are 100% valid, you just gave birth three months ago and your hormones are all over the place, so it makes total sense na triggered ka ulit, lalo na may spotting pa rin ka at hindi ka ready physically. A few of us mums have had similar situations, and honestly? The secrecy and denials hurt more than anything else kasi parang nag-iwan sya ng feelings mo sa sideline. I think the real issue here isn't whether it's "normal" for guys (it might be, pero that doesn't make it okay to dismiss your feelings), but more na kailangan nyo ng actual honest conversation, maybe with a couples counselor kasi wala ka na energy for the back-and-forth, and he needs to understand why you feel less-than, especially postpartum. Don't expect instant change, pero you can expect him to stop invalidating you with denials, dahil that's what's really breaking your trust dito. Take care ng mental health mo muna, ate, you deserve someone who makes you feel secure, hindi insecure.

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