Hello, I just want to vent. Whenever I try to sleep, there are these flashbacks of when I was giving birth. And now I think it affects my daily life. From when I was pregnant, I was already having some problems. Taking meds to keep the baby, having injections, check up, and the pain I went through induced labor was too much. My wound reopened and even now that my baby is almost a month old, my wound still aches and it's limiting my movement. I can't even sway my child to sleep. I don't produce much milk. I can only pump an oz per breast. I tried everything to boost my breast milk but it did nothing. My nipples are inverted so I never got to enjoy feeding my baby. And now every time that my husband wants a kiss or a hug (trying to joke about how I used to be before giving birth) I feel empty. I get piss or mad at him most of the time without even a reason. Sometimes I even think that it was all his fault that I was this hurt. My conscience is bugging me and I want to console my husband but every time I'm trying to reach out to him, to bond with him, everything's coming back. I don't know if I'm scared or what but, I can't go on with my life normally if this keeps happening. Please tell me what I should do to get through this. I don't have anyone to talk to and I feel more tired everyday thinking about everything.
shn