I'm super sensitive.. Help!!

I just gave birth to my 2nd baby after a very long gap.. It was super tiring.. Was having complications during pregnancy and after.. Yeah i know I'm not that old like some others ladies here thats what others said lah as im in my early 30s. But to me seriously i felt really to old to handle my baby at this age with my this no longer young body.. So here comes the problem.. My husband before i even get pregnant was so eager to have another baby even promised to help to assist with my baby especially at night.. Suddenly after gave birth gave me the kind of behaviour such as if he was being force to care for my baby especially during my recuperating period.. Eventhough he did it, after about 3 mth he actually complained forget about the promise lah but as a father and a husband cant he actually show some empathy? He said as if during my pregnancy and giving birth time for me was nothing... I was the one going thru the painful event but he acted as if he was the one instead.. Guess what till date i still feel so damn weak and in so much pain.. But i chose to just keep it to myself in the end cos no one even care.. I was a housewife for long time only did some part time jobs all this while.. Before my first baby wen he reached 1+ i did go out to work and im the sole breadwinner.. That period of time i dont mind lah cos i still feel strong despite my frequent asthma attack.. But now? I seriously cant handle it.. Especially now with less than 6 mths baby i cant afford to get sick.. One more thing is he told me to go out and find for a job.. Cos he cant afford to pay his weekly car rental and for our daily necessities... He said it was for my own good? Isn't it as good as me being a single mum instead? Im feeling so damn tired.. Physically and emotionally!!! I even got the thinking of ending my life.. But thinking of my children and my religious belief, i paused! I decided to leave home.. But i returned and told him i want to make this relationship work as to me maybe theres somewhere is my fault too.. Maybe i only think of myself during that period.. Maybe im too cranky... I dont cook, clean like how i did after my first child was born.. But he actually treated me worst than ever.. Like as if im forcing myself to someone else husband.. I Really dont know what i should do.. To seek for divorce or to continue with this relationship.?? It was a long way more than 10yrs of marriage... Please help me to do some more thinking on my decision... 😔😔😔 #advicepls

2 Replies

You’re not being sensitive, it’s just your husband starting to be calculative. My advise is, put all your kids in school, get a part time job and build up your own income. Only when you are financially stable, then you don’t have to bother about your husband or afraid when he will just leave you and you don’t have financial back up to feed your child. At the same time, take care of your own body, recuperate. Everyone can promise when they want something, but when they got it, that promise can be easily broken. If it’s for his own child and he doesn’t want to do it willingly then it’s useless. I am in no position to advise you whether to stay or leave this marriage because end of the day, you are the one who will be going thru everything whereas nothing will change on my end. I would sit down and have a proper talk with him, if you all want to continue doing life together, something has to change. On your end, I know you’re feeling all the negative vibes and feeling very betrayed by your own husband but if you really decide to talk to him, you have to control your emotions. Hope everything goes well for you 🙏🏻.

Totally understand what you are saying. I can say I’m somewhat in a similar situation as you. Patience is key. Sometimes it can be overwhelming but as time goes by it will def get better. My best advice is to be financially stable and have your own funds on stand by. As much as we would love for our husbands to provide for us, and we would do the same for them if they were in our situation, they won’t think like us. That’s why we woman must always be prepared for the future. Telling from my own experience, I spent all my savings for my necessity expenses and am unemployed since last year as I was preg and just gave birth. Husband keeps complaining a million times. I’ve even contemplated divorce so many times. But I soon realise patience is key. Just be patient till my child is older to go to playgroup and start going work and have my own money as back up and for my expenses. Then the situation at home will be better. It will definitely get better once you go work and start earning and once your baby is in school. Just don’t give up!

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