How to move on from your husband’s infidelity?

Question

I found out last August that my husband is having an affair with his ex gf. I chose to forgive but I am still having panic attacks. Gustong gusto kong maka move on but everytime na feeling ko nagiging ok na ako e bigla nalang akong nag bbreakdown. Nag ooverthink nanaman ako. Para akong mababaliw kakaisip. I’m still having anxiety attacks. Para sa mga kagaya kong naka experience na nito, anong ginawa niyo? Pinili kong mag stay at ayusin yung pamilya namin kaya ayoko sana na ganito ako. Alam ko naman at ramdam kong ginagawa ng husband ko ang lahat para patunayang aayusin niya din pero di ko mapigilan yung pag ooverthink ko. Will this ever end? I feel hopeless.P.S: Please don’t judge my choice.

Maria Reyes Garcia · Answer

Ay mama, nakakaintindi ako ng struggle mo, kasi kahit na willing kang mag-forgive, ang trust and the anxiety na yan, hindi talaga napapabilis ng puso mo na mag-heal. A few of us moms na nag-stay after infidelity, nag-share na ang panic attacks and overthinking ay sobrang normal sa ganitong situation, kaya hindi ka nag-iisa dito. What really helped some of them was talking to a therapist or counselor, hindi lang para sa couple's sessions, pero para sa sarili nila rin, kasi ang trauma na yan ay deep at kailangan talaga ng professional na tumulong i-process ang lahat ng emotions. Kaya mama, I'd really encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional, dahil what you're going through ay valid at deserving ng proper support, hindi yan something na kailangan mong i-handle alone with pure willpower lang. You chose to stay and rebuild, which is brave, pero you also deserve to heal properly and not just suffer in silence. Sending you strength, kaya mo yan.

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