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So tired but husband unable to take care of baby

I am first time mum btw, husband works in the day so I take care of baby in the day and at night we share the responsibilities. However hubby can't make the baby sleep, can't feed the baby, the only thing he can do is change baby diaper and so everything else I have to do myself. For your info, husband can't make baby sleep because his "tactic" is to stuff pacifier into baby screaming mouth and that's it. I tell him to carry baby and rock him, but he just do like a robot and baby screaming like no tmr and I have to take him back. Thought to let him practice more but after a few days he show me his arms saying baby gave him rashes so he gonna try other method. He tries putting baby in those movable cot and push it and seems like a bit working, though takes very long, but after a few days he say his arms and leg breaking with this way. In the end always end up i put baby to sleep. Feeding milk also the same. Baby always screams when he feeds. He very robot, don't know how to soothe baby, just take out bottle when baby arch his back and stuff it back in his mouth when he screams. Then tell me baby don't want to drink. I thought of just asking him to change bb diaper only and wash bottles, but then he will be deprived of learning and bonding with baby. What to do? Haiz...

Anonymous

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You only have 2 ways around this. Tell him to man up and step up (show him how you do it and get him to repeat until right) OR you suck it up and suffer on your own full stop. My hubby was whining about backaches ya da ya da while I was in my confinement. All I wanted to do was to give him one tight slap or maybe throw in a few punches if I could, but I was simply too weak. But I held it all in, and I said in the meanest tone: Have you been thru Army? Pls don't tell me this baby here is heavier than your gun and backpack! Be a Fu*kin Man bcos I just Fu*kin got sliced a 10cm hole to bring out this child of yours!! So either you shut up and start learning or go cut your own Di*k!!!

Anonymous

and I pull it out. But to him I am randomly doing this, and he also randomly do it too. 🙄 That's why i say he is robot. I can only tell him he needs to read baby cues, but he doesn't get it - all he sees is a crying baby. I guess baby also can feel his anxiousness and frustration and gets upset also, screams murder. In the end for my sanity and his, I need to take baby and show him - but to him I seem to be doing the same thing as him but baby is okay with me but not with him.

Knock some sense into him that he IS THE FATHER. Not just some helper, but a FATHER. Don’t expect the mother to do everything, and youre just there with your lame excuse just to avoid doing it. Learn learn and learn. Practice makes perfect definitely. Dont just try few times then give up. Agree with another mummy, ask him to learn from you. I also couldnt soothe my baby when he was crying esp the first few weeks but i learnt and copied from my mum’s ways and it works

He NEEDS to be a functional father. There’s a will, there’s a way. Ask him to watch and learn from you. Start by copying your methods. You need to let go and let him do it.

Is he even putting his 100% effort in helping and learning from you? He is the father of the baby! I believe if he really wants to do it properly, he can definitely do it.

my husband was like that with newborn too! it gets better after 2-3months.

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