Weird

I EBF my LO, to be honest from the very first time he sucked my nipples I kinda liking it and made me arouse. It's good that his father was there to help me with my inside greed, but I didn't tell him about it about that "thing". Until the day we broke up, I remained strong and set my whole life and attention to my son. Everytime I breastfeed my son, I can't stop thinking about sex. Sometimes while am breastfeeding him am playing my clit, sometimes I masturbate after breastfeeding him. But I am not holding my son's penis. I just watch porn videos just to satisfy my inside greed. Is this natural? Am I the only one having this kind of guilt or weirdness..? Honestly am trying my best not to think about sex. What would be the best way to solve this...? Please help me..