8 Replies
Communication is very important. Don't think that kids don't understand, they do!!! Talk to them and try to understand them. If they are crying out loud because they want something, hug them first and ask them whether they want it. Explain to them that whatever they want, they need to pay the money first. If you don't want to buy for them, then explain to them that they already have it at home or whatever they want is not a good thing to have. You must be formed and consistent every time that they throw tantrums. Once you say No!!! It's always No! I talk to my girl before we go shopping about what we will buy but there will not be any other items we plan to buy. If something special that she wants and I agree to buy, I will ask her to help me do something to earn the money and she will get the money and pay for it on her own. This way she will learn that nothing is for free and she needs to learn how to wait until mommy is done with shopping so she can pay for her stuff. I hope this is useful for you.
Kids are clever, you give in 1 time, they will do it forever. For once, let him cry it out loud and know not by throwing tantrums and crying he can get what he want. My girl coming 3 years old, go toy r us one round, didn't grab anything and say she want. That's a very good improvement. Usually she grab and say she want something. If it's too expensive and useless, we will not buy. I will get something cheaper that she also like and bluff her off. Dun buy what he want if you don't want get for him. Next time he will cry till you buy for him. If my girl cry, we will carry her to a counter and wait for her calm down. Or buy her favourite food like fries or ice-cream to make her stop crying. Soon she will realised not by crying and throwing tantrums, she will get what she want. She is getting better and better already. But you say to buy toys for them and they understand than you have to keep the promise, if not next time they won't believe you.
You will need to be firm and consistent. Like what Vanessa has mentioned, children will learn what works and if you give in to his request when he throws a tantrum, he will learn that throwing a tantrum will get him what he wants. It will not be easy but you will need to endure through his tantrums, then explain to him that him throwing a fit or screaming will not get him anything. He will need to learn this in order to prevent future tantrum behaviour. Consistency is key. Also, reinforce good behaviour, such as when he ask nicely (and if he deserves) for the item. This will help him learn that there are other methods that are effective in getting him what he wants. Hope this helps!
Respect your child’s feelings. Feeling understood will reduce your child’s need for tantrums. Try saying, ‘I know that makes you mad’ or ‘That must have made you feel sad’. Your child will see that their feelings matter and can gradually learn to put them into words, saying “I’m angry” instead of acting it out. Use positive parenting – plenty of praise and attention for behaviour you do want, trying to ignore as much as possible behaviour you don’t. Avoid harsh discipline – shouting and punishments only make tantrums worse.
Do both the hard and soft approach. Yes, if you are out with him and he throws tantrums each time and you buy stuffs for him, the child ia smart enough to know and will attack this weak point of yours. You may wish to educate him on this and ahare with him that this isn't the right way to get things he wants. Be firm and exercise what you say. Show him that he needs to be taught what is right and wrong.
As a parent to a toddler myself, my hubby and I try many ways to handle tantrums especially in public. As kids have short attention spans, we will think ways how to divert my boy's attention when we feel that he is about to throw a tantrum. We try to be calm and not be carried away by his behaviour.
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We adopted reward system; make him work hard for his rewards. Otherwise they were felt that everything came by so easily. I will just let them cry till they stopped and talked to him after that.