Dilemma in marriage

My husband has changed 360deg ever since i gave birth to my daughter in dec 2022. It is almost (or definitely is) like I am no longer worthy of love, care, attention and maintenance simply because i am an adult and the newborn cant care for themselves. I was not encouraged to breastfeed, i was insulted as a mother when my husband said "your little breastmilk cannot make my baby happy so dont use breastfeeding as an excuse to be with my baby". I was often spoken to in a harsh manner. My mum was told to bring me home because he could not take care of me 2 weeks post childbirth when it was his idea that i spend my confinement period in our own home, just me husband and baby. It became a huge marital issue that this mistreatment affects my recovery greatly i was quite helpless and very upset with constant crying for lack of bonding with baby and husband that reaching out to my own family for help becomes unacceptable to him and his family. He couldnt admit tht he no longer love me directly but treats me in this manner until i leave home and blame me for it. Our marriage is heading for a divorce. He doesnt want to admit that he doesnt want a divorce either. Since i left home for 2 monthw now, i have recovered speedy, my baby is very happy and healthy but my husband is nowhere making positive progression for our little family. He is determined to cause some separation between me and my newborn if we proceeded with the divorce. #firsttimemom

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Oh dear, reading this really made my heart go out to you, what you went through in those early weeks postpartum was genuinely cruel, and the fact that you've recovered so well and your baby is thriving after leaving says a lot about how much strength you have. The part about him threatening to separate you from your newborn is something you should not take lightly, in Singapore, for a child this young, courts generally lean heavily toward the mother's care arrangements especially during infancy, so please speak to a lawyer sooner rather than later to understand your position before he tries to set any narrative. My friend went through a rough postpartum separation and she said the Legal Aid Bureau was a good starting point if cost is a concern, and her lawyer was very clear that a mother leaving a difficult home environment is very different from abandonment in the eyes of the law. It is also worth noting that divorce does not automatically mean losing your child, some parents who separated actually found they could co-parent more peacefully than when they were together under one roof, and the child's stability matters most to any judge. Weigh it carefully, but do not let his threats paralyse you, you are clearly doing the right things for yourself and your daughter already.

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