Lack of connection

How long will it take for a mother to know how to take care of her own baby ? My baby 25 days old and I’m under confinement care by my confinement nanny … My nanny , mother in law & helper are taking turns to care for her. Everyone kept telling me they want me to focus on myself first. Im grateful to my family to come in to care for her . But it’s almost close to her1 month and i barely know how to take care of her when the nanny goes . I feel like I don’t bond much with her and she prefers the bottle over my chest. I end up have to exclusively pump only and combine feed her as I’m also under supply. My husband and I have tried to care for her for just 3 hours and we can barely manage as she starts to cry like crazy . I think she can sense we barely can care for her.. We’re trying to do more hands on but sometimes I just feel like I shouldn’t be near her cause I think she can sense my anxiety Any advise … #FTM #pumping #help1sttimemom

5 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

My baby is 19 months old now. She's my firstborn, and I just turned 25 this year. Right after giving birth, I just rested for a few days while a confinement nanny took care of my daughter. But as soon as I could walk around the hospital (since I had a c-section), I started holding my baby right away. Whenever she needed breastmilk, I would feed her; the nurses only took her when it was bath time. After that, they’d bring her right back to me. I actually thought about this before I even gave birth—even though I had a confinement nanny helping out, I made sure to still wake up and breastfeed her myself because I really wanted to build that bond with my baby. A week before my confinement period ended, I asked the nanny to let me sleep with my baby. I figured, once the nanny goes home, how am I going to get used to taking care of her by myself? My nanny was totally fine with it and said, "Yeah, no worries! Just call me and I'll come to your room" (since she was sleeping in the room next door). So, just a little piece of advice: maybe give this a try. You also need to communicate and set expectations with the people around you. Don't stress out too much, there's a solution for everything! Even though it's exhausting, you're making precious memories. I know you're probably extra sensitive during this phase, but make sure you talk to your husband a lot so you don't feel overwhelmed carrying it all yourself. Hang in there, mom! I know you can do it. You are the best mom!

Read more

Oh dear, you sound very stressed out at the prospect of having to tc of your baby. I was the same with my 1st child. It terrifies me to be alone with the baby as I was very scared that I wouldn't know what to do if he keeps crying. There is no need to feel ashamed if u need support from others. Raising a kid requires a village. It's fine to exclusively pump (and its a very hard thing to do, I did it for my 1st kid) and bottle feed, whatever works best for u and the baby. Dont stress yourself trying to bond with your baby, the feelings will eventually come as time passes. Play with your baby, watch her smile (soon! she'll start to smile nearing 2 months), listen to her babbling and cooing, and you'll feel closer to her, slowly but surely. And unless u had prior experience looking after babies, no one knows how to take of babies until they learn and gain experience. Giving birth to a baby doesnt mean you know how to take care, so give yourself grace. Youre alrdy trying your best, and u will eventually pick things up!

Read more

actually i also first time mum n i also struggling. in my case i got no one can assist me. so me n my husband hire confinement lady another mth as i barely rest as i got breast pump milk. then 3rd mth we getting a maid. is really stressful but alot couple can handle newborn themselves 2nd mth. i felt is case by case basis. if need help pls approach

Read more

it's ok. I also only felt a true connection like 4 -5 months in. I didn't have the.. I would die for my child kinda immediate bond. it took me a while to feel the love and bond

Thành viên VIP

i had lotsa help which not every1 may... it took me a long time to connect but my kidz definitely come to know...