Feeling stupid and useless mother

Have you ever felt like you tried your hardest to calm your own child down and no matter what you did, be patient, be calm, letting them release their tantrums and listen to them; yet still after all that your child is still not calm. But when someone else took him/her away instantly quiet and okay. I have and I feel stupid and useless. It’s like I am not my own child’s mother. I feel like I can’t even calm and control my own child. Like as if I’m not defeated enough by my own child that I cannot make him/her stop crying, keep calm and what not. After seeing that he/she able to be quiet after taking away by someone… I felt more defeated. I felt more useless. I felt so hopeless that I’m questioning myself if that is my own child. I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking, but don’t act as if you never over think about all this. Maybe I’m just overworked, but don’t tell me you have never felt this before. I just need somewhere to let all this out. I don’t need any replies. Just affirmation that mothers out there have been through what I have and share how you dealt with this emotions and depressive thoughts I have right now.

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Yes, many times and I’m sure many mothers especially FTM go thru this :) Maybe think of it another way, the child trust you the most, to them, they are you and vice versa, so they will always show their worse side to you. But that is also because they trust you the most. They are calm towards others because to outsiders, their mindset is always to give in whatever the kid wants. But as mothers, we don’t want it to be a habit so we will always be the bad guy telling them no. But they will still love you regardless. I used to be frustrated too, as she grows older, if someone can calm her down instead of letting her cries get to me and end scolding or even smacking her, i would rather someone take her and let me have my peace. Eventually, you are the mother and that is something that won’t change. When your kid falls down or feels upset, they will think and come to you first. It’s okay to not to be okay, we are mothers, but we are human too. Stay strong! 😊

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i did for the 1st few months... only got better after about a year