Stop breastfeeding, guilty or not guilty

I just gave birth 2 weeks ago, and I want to stop my breastmilk so badly. With the engorged pain, having to wake up every few hours to pump, and taking care of baby... I'm feeling all the anxiety and frustration. My friend made me feel guilty that why I didn't pull through the tiredness and give my baby breastmilk as it is the best for my baby. As my confinement ends in another 2 more weeks, my husband and my mum will not be around and I have to take care 24/7 of my baby with no help. I can't imagine to be taking care of my baby alone, with all the engorged pain and having to pump every hours. Am I being a bad mum for not pulling through the tiredness to give my baby breastmilk?