Is it too much to ask for you to do?

Ever since you decided to flirt with another girl because “I was not giving you the attention you need”, you ruined me. What seemed innocent to you was like end of the world for me. As a mother, it was inevitable to take care of OUR kids. I did not know you would be that needy to succumb to flirting with another girl—our mutual friend. It hurt deep, my heart was crushed into a million pieces. Until now, it is hard to cope. And a year had passed since I discovered your “innocent, friendly chats” with her, I cannot forget and will not forget more so when you did not do anything to make me feel better because to you, nothing was wrong with what you did. And to add more salt to the wound, you travelled with her for a week for business. Imagine how devastating that was for me but I held on because you said you would not do anything to ruin the business. Yes, you’d rather keep the business running than fix us. If it weren’t for the love I have for you, I wouldn’t have stayed. I don’t believe in staying together for the kids. I stayed because I love you. And it hurts when I keep on reaching out to you for intimacy, affection, or just a hug, there were no genuine feelings from you. What have become of us? Just because of your neediness for affection from me when I was taking care of our kids? I really don’t understand. You never said sorry. But when I was at fault and I said sorry for my shortcomings with the business, what did you say? “Palagi naman e.” But the one time I needed to hear sorry from you, what did you say? “I’ve had enough of you and your crying “. What an a*hole. I have called you names when stupid marriage articles said don’t say anything that you’ll regret. I did regret it because it didn’t help fix us. But it felt so good. I called you: malandi, ki-at, igat and the latest, a nagger, a lame husband. I said expletives at you out of frustration, disappointment, hurt. I don’t do that but you led me to do it. But what was the simplest thing I asked of you that will help me cope with our issue? Affection. A genuine hug, a kiss everytime you go out to work, to gym, to whatever I let you go to because you’ve got be set free, right? I am clingy, i am the jealous-type. In the years of being together, I learned to let go. To trust you. But when you flirted with someone else, it was hard to trust you again though nowadays, i’m trying. I don’t know what to do. My days are filled with work and kids. But I also give the attention you need and deserve. Marriage is about giving right? I am very confused with what to do with us because maybe in the end, there would not be. All I needed was love and affection. I did not know I had to work hard for it from you when I didn’t give you enough back then and which led you to get attention from someone else—not once but twice. Those women were intelligent enough not to be fooled by your over-friendliness, or were they? You’re cute and charming. You marvel at how the gay and straight admire you. Are you that of an attention-seeker? Were you deprived of that when you were a child? Wasn’t or Aren’t I enough? Your wife? Still, I hold on. I just want a genuine hug, a genuine kiss. Is it too much to ask from you? “Good night, sweet dreams” (You never told me that, maybe when we were gf-bf then but now? Nada. How easy it was to end your nightly chats with her with this and all the pakyut and pa-charmus effects ?) My advice to all of you women: happy wife, happy life is a lie. It’s more of a happy husband, happy life. Make him happy, don’t lead him to be needy because he will justify his neediness with someone else. Just pray na hindi sakyan yung mga pakyut nya ng babae.