Feeling Helpless? Or just tired.

Question

So my eldest was diagnose with Dengue. Kaya pala hindi bumababa yung lagnat nya.This week is a Hell week for me. Nachoke yung eldest ko ng pillows. Buti I know how to do Heimlich Manuever. And nailabas nya ng buo yung pillows.Yesterday he put the tip of the aspirator in his nose. He doesnt want me to remove it kaya dinala ko sa e.r Sobrang panic ko sa bahay kung anu ano nasabi ko. And nagpapanic ako. Naka work from home ako that time nagpaalam lang ako sa manager ko na maghalfday.Nung asa hispital na kme sobrang dameng tao. May surge ksi ng covid ngayon.1pm asa hosp kme natanggal pa yung sa nose nya 5pm na. Buti nlng di na sya na sedate. I planned to tell the doctor to sedate him to remove it ksi Im scared. Then my brother accused me na hindi ako mabuting ina because of what I said. Hindi naman dw ako ngalaga ng anak ko kundi tagapag alaga ko. At kung anu ano pa. Nakakapanggigil no. Minura ko tlga sya ng minura. Ang kapal eh. Hindi nmn ako nghingi sknya kahit 25 centavos makapag salita sakin. Tpos yung asawa kong seafarer gnon din. Kesyo lipat kme sa mama nya ksi di dw nabbantyn mga bata. Na stress na dw sya talon nlng daw sya sa dagat. Ano pa yung stress ko?  Na ako nagbabantay sa mga anak ko, nag wowork pako, plus iisipin mo linis bahay and anong kakainin namin. Sa lahat ng gastos ko sa hosp this two weeks hindi ako nghingi sa asawa ko ng pera kaya said ako. Di rin nmn xa makkpag padala ksi walang signal sim nya. Anyway Ive been crying my self for 2 days now. I cant work properly. My mental health is at its worst. I want to rest coz Im tired but I cant. Overwhelming ....

Maria · Answer

Mama, Im so sorry youre going through all of this, dengue, the ER scare, work, and now feeling blamed by people around you? Thats too much for one person. You did everything right, you knew the Heimlich, you rushed to the ER, you stayed calm when it mattered. Youre a good mother, and your brother and husband saying otherwise right now? Thats unfair.Please, mama, reach out to someone, a doctor, a counselor, or even just a trusted friend from your circle. A few of us mums have been there where everything piles up and we cant breathe, and talking to someone (even just one person) helped. Your mental health matters too, not just the kids and the housework. You cant pour from an empty cup, no?Rest when you can, even 10 minutes. And if the crying and overwhelm dont get better in a few days, please see a doctor, hindi ito weakness, its taking care of yourself so you can take care of them.Youre doing your best, and thats enough.