Ay alam ko yan mama, sobrang stressful talaga especially when you're sleep-deprived na rin! My baby din nag-startle easily, and what helped was swaddling her tight (like burrito style, para kinda contained siya), keeping the room really dark, at consistent white noise in the background, kahit fan lang or white noise app, parang nullifies sudden sounds kaya hindi sya biglang nagugulat. Ginawa ko rin sure na after feeds, medyo mahabang time bago ilay sa crib kaya deeper na sleep na siya before. Hindi naman mawawala completely but mas naging manageable, at by 3-4 months medyo lumabo na naturally, kaya don't worry it does get better!
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