Comments from Husband's family

Anyone encountered such situation? Am I too petty or emotional? Currently at 3rd week PP - natural birth. Went through close to 20 hrs of labor & had 2nd degree tear. Recovery took quite a while and husband's family often will see that my husband is taking care of the baby during the day since I'm in confinement and in pain - they will make unnecessary comments like "the dad is better at taking care of the baby" "the baby is mostly taken care of by the dad - he is good at handling". This really irks me and pissed me off. I still diligently Pumped every 2 hrs so baby can have breastmilk as she doesn't want to latch much, and then every night I will carry her whenever she cries. In the day I will help out also with my husband for baby's shower and feeds. My husband is really wonderful I admit, in terms of helping out and stuffs, but I really hates it when these unnecessary comments were made and I will cry, thinking that I am actually not doing a good job and as if the mother doesn't play a part at all?

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I do lag behind in terms of taking care of my baby while my helper have a head start trained by confinement nanny. My husband made hurtful remarks that my maid is better than me (even worst). But he eventually regretted coz when my baby fuss he couldn’t handle at all. Then my father-in-law also made insensitive remarks when he heard my baby girl is high-maintenance (just like his mommy 🤬) New mom like us are always in a tough spot having to handle tough challenges and unnecessary and is entice remarks, really have to toughen up ourselves and selective listening. Jia you!

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We are first time mum trying to give out best to our baby, i also heard unnecessary comments i also get so affected n cry... you are doing so well alrdy with pumping every 2 hours! I have 3rd degree tear i cannot pump as diligent as you, i felt guilty, i tried to pump every few hours, but milk still very low. Been latching when i can and topup FM 😢 Baby now almost 2months, ultrasound recently shows still have problem down there, waiting for subsidised doctor for review, duno need wait how long, dam pain :(

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Don’t take it too hard upon urself! I experienced slightly similar situation and when they start comparing us with other FTM…this is inevitable.. sharing some quotes here to keep u going. “Motherhood is an act of infinite optimism” and “successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled, they are the ones that never give up despite the struggles”. These day to day experiences are part of the struggles, I’ve been telling myself as well to learn to live with it and let it go.

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Oh you have to understand, they are related so naturally, they are going to praise him more. My in laws said that our baby looks like his father, even after I showed them my baby pictures 😐 I supposed you can show some colors. Some ppl will behave better that way. Or speak to your husband first, see if he can manage his family Baby will eventually bond with you, you’re just giving your husband a head start 🤣

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