Post Partum Depression
My anxiety, stress and depression is eating me. They become more stronger and stronger for months past. I'm 6 months pregnant now and there's a time I cried a lot to control myself to stop. But I can't, there's a time I can't even control myself to hurt myself and my tummy is my main target. My mind is so confused now because of bullshit things happened. Past is chasing me too. Feels me like I'm not worth of everything, I'm just a waste. And every time that's happen, I punch him/her hard as I can, and as many as I could. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to hurt my baby but I can't control myself. Before I use to drink, take some medicine and sleeping pills to calm myself but now I'm aware that I'm not allow to do it. I don't know what to do anyone. I don't want to consult my condition to a psychiatrist because they can't help, they make it more worst too. It only recall the bad past and make it hard to accept things when memories come. Also I don't know if I could tell this to my OB. She might get very mad and confine me somewhere. I can't tell this to anyone. They might think I'm crazy bitch and thinking that things happened to me are things they can used against me.
