Aiyo I feel you lah, sama situation dengan saya dulu and honestly sobbing juga I thought nak resign But what helped us, I gave my helper a few days before I started work to bond with baby, and we did "practice runs" where I step out for 1-2 hours so baby gets used to her without me around, plus helper slowly comfort-patted dia to sleep instead of expecting pacifier to work. The merengek phase does pass lah, once baby realises Mak takde but caregiver is there consistently, they adjust faster than you think, a few of my mum friends all went through this and their kids are fine now!