Uy, mama, you're doing so much better than you think, the fact na nag-research ka pa at nag-aral shows how much you care na, kaya please don't be hard on yourself! A few of us moms went through exactly this sa first month, and honestly, the breakdowns are so normal kasi your body and emotions are all over the place pa, plus the lack of sleep talaga. It's okay to feel frustrated; it doesn't mean you're not doing enough, it means you're human and you're learning while keeping a tiny human alive, which is pretty amazing. Maraming moms here feel the same way, and it does get easier, I promise, though it might not feel like it ngayon. Be gentle sa sarili mo, lean on your partner or family when you can, and if the feelings get too heavy, don't hesitate to talk to your OB or a healthcare provider, postpartum is real and there's no shame in getting help. You've got this, mama!
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