Should I tell the father of my baby when I give birth?

So here's the story. The father unexpectedly is very irresponsible. 1st time I told him I'm pregnant the first question he asked was "if the baby was his?" (He's the 2nd and so far last guy I had sex with, he's just an asshole) 2ndly when he finally believes it's his (after we counted the days we're together to my fertile days till I found out I'm pregnant) his next words are "it's your fault you got pregnant, "I told you we're not ready yet" He blames me and accuses me of using him to get myself pregnant. FYI I'm supposed to fly to Thailand last year and I'm working on my papers. That alone is enough reason to make sure that I won't cause any accidents especially pregnancy since I'm the bread winner of the family, he knows that and he said those words to me. He lives in manila and when I found out I'm pregnant I was in the province with my family. Since I got pregnant I decided to stay here for good until childbirth so my parents can help me out. Nothing beats the comfort of your own home. Di Muna ko bumalik sa manila since I also found out that I have sensitive pregnancy. Pag umuwi ako sa kanya not only ako lang nag wowork samen dalawa I'll be burden with household chores which pinagbawal ng ob I should be on bed rest. So I started working from home sa province. Work sleep and eat ang naging daily routine ko. He on the other hand never visited me hence he never met my parents. He also didn't ask about "how my pregnancy is" pag magkausap kame He also only talks about himself tuwing magkausap kame sa phone. When I tried to seek comfort he'll invalidate my feelings and guilt trip me pag di ko siya napadalan pag may gusto siya bilin And he never offered financial support either for my pregnancy.(I understand this part kase wala siyang work) so I helped him find a job only to tell me he'll use his salary to get his car fixed and then he resigned after 6-8weeks? I had enough, I was 6 mos pregnant that time and I broke up with him. I told him, we'll break up but I'll let him see the baby, visit the baby anytime, like relationship lang namen ang mawawala but my family and I will treat him nicely since I still want us to be friends for the sake of the child. However because of how he treated me I can no longer see him as my lifelong partner. I also asked if it's okay if I use his last name for our baby since di kame kasal and I want him there pag nanganak ako And he said. No. If I'm dead set in breaking up with him. He'll disappear from our life. He will not meet the baby and I should put the baby's last name with mine. That I should just tell the baby, "daddy loves you but he is dead" and said that after that conversation he'll delete all the ways we have to communicate with each other. He also said that he was disappointed in me and I made him sad. He never really thinks about me and his child. Now my mom and aunts are asking me to get in contact with him and tell him pag nanganak na ko. Baka daw mag bago ang isip. I can't blame them. A certain neighbor posted on Facebook, basically nilalait ako for being a single mom. Nasaktan sila for me I know. But ever since Nakipag hiwalay ako he never tried to contact me again as in never. And since day 1 ng pregnancy none sa family niya ever asked about me or tried to contact me as well. Part of me wants to let him know and send him at least 1 message pag nanganak na ko this end of the month. Still hoping na may kalakihan tatay anak ko(baka mag bago isip). But a big part of me knows that he'll act cocky and make me feel miserable when I contacted him. He'll probably question me why I'm even telling him that My aunt said I should tell his parents about it instead, maybe his parents would want to see their 1st grandchild from him. But as I mentioned, his parents never get in touch with me at all since day 1 of my pregnancy. What do you guys think?

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Viết phản hồi

For me huh, mas better kung sa family niya mismo mo ipaalam kung hindi pa alam ng family niya, dahil napakairesponsable niyang tao tinalo pa ang bakla, and if ever kung may pera ka naman much better kung ipa DNA test mo for what reason? evidence na siya ang ama para if ever na hindi siya magchild support ay pwede mo siyang idemanda kasi responsibilidad niya yun at pwede mo maging proof yun sa family niya kapag nagdeny siya na hindi sa kanya yun so parang wala na siyang takas at mapilitan siya magtrabaho hindi yung sa babaeng buntis pa niya iaasa yung luho niya which very unmanly. Pero kung ayaw talaga idemanda mo na talaga pero mas ok kung may enough evidence like DNA test thats the only best solution. Pero magiging masakit sa part ng bata paglaki niya kasi malalaman niya na hindi siya kinikilalang anak ng taong yun. But at the end of the day decision mo ang masusunod pero iconsider mo yung bata sa decision mo kung ano magiging future niya or mararamdaman sa decision mo. Hindi naman masama maging single mom nalo na kung ganyang lalaki ang makakasama mo. I don't know why people mocks single moms kahit di nila alam ang istorya kung bakit sila naging single mom. Godbless na lang po sa iyo at sa baby mo.

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2y trước

alam po ng parents niya na buntis ako. and they never get in touch with me.

Hi my, sending virtual hugs! It takes two to tango, better if mutual ang decision especially when it comes to the baby. If ayaw talaga niya maging part ng buhay ng anak nya, then so be it para less complications in the future. Marami ang nagmamahal kay baby especially God Who created him/her. He is your baby’s Heavenly Father, kahit wala man siyang earthly father, God is more than able to fill up the role of a father. I have a close friend, she’s now 22yo and never met her father. She never looked for him and never felt empty cause she finds comfort that she has a Heavenly Father who takes care and loves her way more than any human being can 💕

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for me ha?dont let him know. if he wanted to and if he really loves you or even just the baby He will care. assholes will always be an asshole. you have work girl, you never depended on him for anything even when your pregnant. so let go of the person who never cares at the first place. Let your child carry your last name not HIS. I've been with the same situation before and now Im happily married with a much more better and responsible man. You have your family as your backbone,your baby as your inspiration and faith in God as your strength and foundation. you go mommy.

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Hindi mo na kailangan ipaalam. Hindi mo kailangan ng comfort nya or ng family nya. Hindi sya magiging part ng buhay nyo ni baby, baby will use your name and not his. Baby will grow up with u and your family and will never hear about his father. Kung gusto nya talaga makita or makilala ang bata, sya dapat ang gumawa ng paraan. Sobrang hirap magbuntis tapos iintindihin mo pa sya? Wag na mommy, stay strong para sa sarili mo and kay baby. One day you’ll find someone better and someone worth it. For now, focus on making yourself recover and focus kay baby.

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Naku parang aabotin ng ilang dekada bago magbago yang ex mo 😂 If he's really interested sa baby niyo, siya mismo kusa gagawa ng paraan makita yan baby. His actions are so obvious nman na hindi pa siya ready maging ama. For sure, hindi yan magbabago kahit makita pa niya ang baby, napaka narcissistic niya. Pag isipan mo mabuti if ipapagamit mo apelyedo niya sa baby mo baka pagsisihan mo.

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