A mother to an angel

I remember it so clearly even to this day. The 1 week of suffering and my last week woth you inside nanay March 1 2020 was the day we found out that you're a girl. This was the calm before the storm. March 11 2020 i had 39.2° fever. I did go to the hospital but i wasn't admitted then. March 12 2020 that morning i noticed you haven't move. It was so unusual of u because you always karate me in the morning and i always loved tha, im always waiting for it actually. But that morning you never did. I waited until noon but theres none. No movement, no hiccups. I got worried so we rushed to the hospital. My OB started checking your heartbeat but ni heartbeat was found. They transfered me to another room where they attached a machine yo my tummy (i forgot what its called but its use to tracm the baby's heat beat, movement and if your having contraction) i was in there for 30 minutes lying as they try to find any movement and ofcourse, your heartbeat. But still, no movement and heartbeat found. My OB talked told me you are gone. But i was in denial, i told them no, you are still in nanays tummy, you must be sleeping a lot, tired from all the kicking and punching. I wasn't ready to accept it. I cried so hard, i cried a lot for you. Seeing me like that, the OB told me she will let me have an ultrasound. But if the result came out the same then she had no choice, i will be induced. I was crying the whole night because i already know you're gone, but i can't accept that fact. March 13 2020 i did the ultrasound. I saw you, but there's no movement, no heartbeat. I cried again, a lot. They started giving me meds that night to enduce my labor. March 14,15,16 2020 labor for 3 days. i was in a lot of pain but nothing compares to the paon of losing you anak. I cried for you. My mama told me that i have to let you so that you can go to heaven peacefully. She told me maybe my labor wasn't progressing because you don't want to leave because i still can't accept what happened. Your also tatay talked to me abput it. I cried the whole night unable to sleep. Until i finally let ypu go, i told you that night that you can now rest, that i love you, and i will alwats be missing you, that you'll always be my panganay, you'll always ne my baby girl, you'll always be in my heart anak. That night, i finally let you go. March 17 2023 morning ar exactly 8:43 i gave birth to a beautiful, sleeping angel. Mahal na mahal ka ni nanay anak, araw araw at gabi gabi pa din kitang naiisip at namimiss. Mahal ka namin ni tatay at ng kapatid mo. Kaka 1 year old nya lang last december anak. Mahal ka namin palagi 💕