My Savior, My Baby Aziel😭

I received condolences instead of congratulations. 😭😭💔 On my 36th week and 5 days, I gave birth to my 1st child — my baby boy. To make the long story short, Dec. 8 at around 3 am I went to the hospital because there's blood on my undies after I experienced contractions. When I arrived at the hospital, the doctor said my baby has no heartbeat. They checked my baby boy's heartbeart 3 times with 2 different apparatus but still there's none. I still believe my baby is alive until when I gave birth to him at 7:30 am, it is confirmed that he isn't alive anymore. The reason for his death was cord accident. 😭😭😭💔 I am excited to see him and welcome him and more than excited to dress him, feed him and see him grow. But unexpectedly, his father brought him home, inside a box with no life and me still at the hospital under observation. I didn't get the chance to attend his burial and didn't get the chance to see him longer. 😭😭😭💔 My family and friends told me not to feel sad but be thankful because my baby boy saved me, he didn't put me in risk and didn't let me feel too much pain as I gave birth to him. But still, I fee like there's no reason for me to be happy anymore since I lost him. I feel like I failed to protect him and failed to be his mom. 😭😭