Working mum or SAHM

Through my first child experience, after my ML of 4 months, I am back to work as fulltime. I only resign as FT as of May 2021 then I took PT. It wasn't easy because you are constantly worrying about your little one at home. This is despite having someone you trust to settle your little one till you are back home. Being a hotelier, I request from my superior only mid shift work to accommodate my morning routine and night routine for my little one. Otherwise, Ill be home so late at night. I take off day request /leave request only for check up or family event. This is to be fair with my other colleagues that cover for me through my ML. I don't take sabbatical leave because it wouldn't make sense to me. You will feel the urge to not go work anymore, lazy and just want to be SAHM. I am now pregnant with my second child and has fully resign due to medical reason. Of course, I feel upset and just bored right? But, I wanted to make sure that I am better and I can take care of my first child and soon, my second child. I have to be fair and make up to all the time I have been missing for my first child. The guilt of leaving your little one as a working mum will always be there but how we manage our time with our own family, friends and little one. Even being a SAHM never easy too because you have so much to do and you dont get that much rest esp if you have a clingy little one.